The sunshine is as good as therapy

What a week, I really feel like I have turned a corner. I made that massive decision to leave my employer without a job to go to, I feel strangely liberated today, but I know come Monday I will start fretting because the pressure is on to find a job....this time though, I am only going to apply for positions that allow for all facets of my skills and experience.  I will not fall back into the old habit of applying for a job that continues from my current role, even though that's where the good money is.  

I have decided that it is better to take lesser pay and be 100% fulfilled, than to soldier on, hoping things will improve...these past months have shown me that, and it hasn't been pretty.

That said, I know in my heart what I am capable of, and the kind of environment I seek, it's just so damn hard to get placed for an interview.  I hate that someone else wants to charge you a lot of money, to rewrite your CV so it conforms with the latest software, and AI, don't get me started, surely, what is lifted from the page is not the real me, because I didn't write it.

For me, written words are so much easier to be able to convey my skills and expertise, I am so nervous at interviews, and because of my lack of confidence in self promotion under duress, I end up tripping over my conversations, concentrating so hard to say the right thing, I forget what the point was I was trying to make....for me, it would be so much better, if you could work a week, even for free, to let the new, would be employer, see you at work. How you interact with others, how you approach situations, how you conduct yourself, your work ethic, your people skills and creativity, surely to see this first hand is more honest and transparent, than a load of fully corporate worded, nicely laid out facts, created by AI. 

Sadly, those days are long gone and we all have to suffer the latest barriers to gain employment and quite frankly, end up feeling isolated, ignored, lack lustre, tired, and generally ghosted.

So, whilst I am excited by what the future will bring, I am equally terrified and already nervous about selling myself.




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